Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
