she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
