Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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