Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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