Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
3pm strippers are depressing
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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