if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
