lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
