I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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