All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
