8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
