So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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