It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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