dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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