erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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