She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
