I wish I could punch you in the face.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
