ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
