She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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