my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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