soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
