Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
