Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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