i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
