What tipped you off? The sombrero?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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