The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just found puke in my bra..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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