My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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