I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
