Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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