You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
