i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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