is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
