Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
