listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
