got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
