I'm really into asian looking animals
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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