you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
