are you still at the devil's house?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
