i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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