i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
