I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
