I'm jealous of your bromance
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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