It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
