he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
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