Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry keeeeeeeeeeelly hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(678): View more from Georgia

We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.

Fav 29 1122 4397
share tweet
(484): View more from Pennsylvania

You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"

Fav 8 3917 1301
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(361): View more from Texas

I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

Fav 17 3675 2205
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.

Fav 7 1381 4437
share tweet
(757): View more from Virginia

You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat

Fav 3 1215 1836
share tweet
(469): View more from Texas

Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.

Fav 14 1123 3090
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(206): View more from Washington

It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.

Fav 5 822 762
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie

Fav 2 205 288
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(202): View more from Washington, DC

He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...

(202): View more from Washington, DC

He’s very straightforward

Fav 0 12 18
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT