On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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