I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
