Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
