remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
