Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
