Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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