dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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