(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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