Your tits are I can't wait for
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
