I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
