"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
