i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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