Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
