I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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