It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
