the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up under a house in Key West
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