she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
My life is pants optional.
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